


Extremely rare pepes are the right start for your sexting only in case you don't have a daddy kink and your bottom doesn't like Vegemite.

by KayleighMcCamyo



Series: Groupchats of One Direction and 5 Seconds of Summer [9]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band), One Direction
Genre: Crack, Daddy Kink, Humor, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, Kink Shaming, Lashton - Freeform, M/M, Muke - Freeform, Multi, OT4, OT5, Sarcasm, Slash, This Is STUPID, bottoms, crackfic, dont ask me, everyone hates this band, extremely sad pepe, groupchat, i am leaving, i dont even know why would i, larry - Freeform, rare pepe, rules of the band, the gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-09
Updated: 2015-08-09
Packaged: 2018-04-13 19:13:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4533876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KayleighMcCamyo/pseuds/KayleighMcCamyo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Luke: no shitting on daddy kink.</p><p>Mikey: that's rule number one in this band, no shitting on kinks.</p><p>Calum: daddy kink isn't a kink it's A DESEASE!!!!</p><p>Ash: OUT OF THE BAND</p><p>Luke: calum don't be rude</p><p>Mikey: *putting breadsticks into my purse*</p><p>Ash: MIKE STOP WITH THE TUMBLR HUMOR</p><p>Luke: don't say breadstick near me</p>
            </blockquote>





	Extremely rare pepes are the right start for your sexting only in case you don't have a daddy kink and your bottom doesn't like Vegemite.

 

Ashton Irwin (Ash) started a groupchat. He’s invited: Calum, Mikey, Luke.

 

 **Ash** : I can't.

 **Ash** : he needs intervention.

 **Calum** : So do you with the daddy thing.

 **Mikey** : BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRNNNNNN

 **Luke** : fuck y’all i wanna my beauty sleep and my phone keeps buzzing

 **Cal** : shut the fuck up michael

 **Mikey** : seriously i came here to have a good time and i feel so attacked rrn

 **Ash** : Mike dont

 **Mikey** : okay daddy.

 **Calum** : oh My god STOP WITH THE GAY THING RN!!!!!

 **Luke** : shut up

 **Ash** : Cal daddy kink isn't a gay thing only!

 **Calum** : stop talking about it like it's normal oh my god IT'S FUCKIGN KINK OKAY AND LIKE IT'S THE WORST IT'S THE SICKEST KINK YOU COULD HAVE OH MY GOD NO PLEASE I DON'T WANNA HAVE A CONVERSATION ABOUT DADDY KINK JUST PLEASE STOP

 **Ash** : heyyyyyy

 **Luke** : no shitting on daddy kink.

 **Mikey** : that's rule number one in this band, no shitting on kinks.

 **Calum** : daddy kink isn't a kink it's A DESEASE!!!!

 **Ash** : OUT OF THE BAND

 **Luke** : calum don't be rude

 **Mikey** : *putting breadsticks into my purse*

 **Ash** : MIKE STOP WITH THE TUMBLR HUMOR

 **Luke** : don't say breadstick near me

 **Calum** : CAN YALL FOCUS ON ONE ISSUE AND STOP ARGUING LIKE THE GUYS FROM ONE DIRECTION

 **Ash** : YOU ARE OUT OF THE BAND YOUVE BROKEN THE NUMBER ONE RULE OF THIS BAND

 **Calum** : YOU AT THE LAST OF VEGEMITE YESTERDAY SHUT THE FUCK UP I AM STILL PISSED ABOUT UT

 **Luke** : that's like second rule of this band

 **Mikey** : this is golden

 **Calum** : I AM LEAVING THIS BAND I AM TAKING MY BOOMERANG DICK AND MY VEGEMITE AND I AM LEAVING

 **Luke** : im happy for you to go but you can't leave with vegemite if Ash ate the last of it.

 **Ash** : I ATE MY VEGEMITE BECAUSE IT WAS MINE I BOUGHT IT AND IT'S MINE TO EAT AND I WAS HUNGRY AND ALSO FUCK YOU

 **Calum** : I PREFER NOT TO I AM SAVING MY VIRGINITY FOR SOMEONE SPECIAL

 **Luke** : I hate this band

 **Mikey** : you aren't a virgin

 **Ash** : you came out of your mothers vagina as demon slutty baby who was pissed at everyone with healthy sexual life around you

 **Calum** : DADDY KINK ISN'T HEALTHY SEXUAL LIFE OH MY G OD

 **Ash** : CALUM DON'T BE FUCKING RUDE

 **Mikey** : U KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO RUDE PEOPLE

 **Calum** : michael  why the fuck are you taking ash’s side?

 **Ash** : … i didn´t  even realize

 **Mikey** : i don't take any side i just enjoy these arguments cuz theyre golden

 **Mikey** : and i am independant bisexual dragon with the ability to temporary die

 **Mikey** : also i am punkrock i do whatever i want so fuck you

 **Calum** : i already told ash, i rather not, im saving my virginity for someone special

 **Luke** : Louis‘ dick was in your ass calum nothing about you is virginal

 **Calum** : DOTNT TALK ABTOU THE BASTARD INFRONT OF ME

 **Ash** : haha

 **Calum** : HE BASICALLY RAPED ME

 **Mikey** : looks like the cocky bottom punished your arse.

 **Ash** : mikey oh my god

 **Luke** : :D :D :D :D

 **Calum** : I AM LEAVING THIS BAND

 **Calum** : I AM LEAVING AND I'm TAKING LUKE WITH ME

 **Ash** : NO YOU ARE NOT TAKIGN MY BABY PENGUIN AWAY FROM ME

 **Mikey** : *sending a pic of sad pepe*

 **Calum** : I MEAN THAT LUKE IS IN MY ROOM I AM TAKING HIM AWAY FROM YOU SHITTY FUCKING VIRGINS WITH DADDY KINKS

 **Luke** : guys…

 **Ash** : DON'T FUCKNG SWEAR CALUM

 **Mikey** : I AM VERY RARE PUNKROCK BISEXUAL DRAGON WIT HTHE ABILITY TO TEMPORARY DIE U SHITFACED JERK

 **Luke** : guys really

 **Calum** : YEAH WHAT ABOUT YOU TEMPORARY DIE SO I CAN LIVE IN PEACE

 **Ash** : you spelled leave wrong, boomerang dick

 **Calum** : ILL FUCKIGN KILL YOUR NAUGHTY DADDY ASS

 **Luke** : guys seriously stop flirting

 **Mikey** : SHOULD I FUCKING ADD LOUIS UP TO THIS CONVERSATION?!?!

 **Ash** : O H MY FUCKING GOD

 **Calum** : I AM GOING TO MURDER Y A ALLL!!!!!!!!

 **Luke** : guys if you won't stop flirting you end up having hate sex again and i don't think this hotel is ready for this

 **Mikey** : *sending very rare seductive pepe*

 **Calum** : I AM LEAVING THIS STUPID BAND

 **Ash** : MICAHCLE UCING DON OT OKYA IF I SEE ANY MORE RARE PEPE I AM SHOWING THEM UP YOUR FUCKING ASS

 **Calum** : AND I AM LEAVING THIS STUPID BAND

 **Mikey** : *sending a pic of a very rare pepe seductively licking a mineral*

 **Luke** : i am so ready for your hate sex rn

 **Ash** : MICHAEL GRODNO CLIFFROFD I SWERA TO FUCKRNG GOD I AM GOI GN TO YOUR ROOM AND YOUVE NEVER SEEN WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN I SWEAR??!!

 **Luke** : literally i am hard as fuck in my pants

 **Calum** : OH MY GUFCING GOD NO LUKE I THIS IS MY ROOM

 **Mikey** : *sending the rarest of rare nude pepe*

 **Ash** : MLIFCHATLE DON'T FUVKNG TTEST MY fUCKGNI PAITNENCE

 **Luke** : i am getting naked

 **Calum** : LUKE FOR CHRISTS SAKE I AM NOT HERE FOR YOUR BREADSTICK

 **Mikey** : *sending the most extremely rare dickpic pepe*

 **Ash** : WHCIHR ROOM IS YOUR SI AM TAKING MY NOM NOM AND IM GOUING TO HAUMT YOUR FUCKIGN ASS DOWN WHICH ROOM IS YOURS TELL ME OR IT'S GONNA BE WORSE

 **Mikey** : *sending the most extremely rare, the rarest of rare gaping ass pepe*

 

 **Calum** : LUKE ST AH P I AM STIL HERE I AM NOT HERE TO WATCH YOU DO THISI I'm LEAVING I'm FUCKIGN ENDING EVERYTHING

 **Luke** : i am palming myself

 

 **Calum Hood** **has left the conversation.**

 

****Ashton Irwin has let the conversation.** **

 

**Mikey Clifford has left the conversation.**

 

 

 **Luke** : guys…?

 **Luke** : is the hate sex happening?

 **Luke** : we gonna get banned from another hotel

 **Luke** : god, it's like 10th hotel  this month only

 **Luke** : and it's only the 8th.

 **Luke** : …

 **Luke** : I hate this band.

**Author's Note:**

> Punk-cocks.tumblr.com is where i sail my ships.  
> Thank you all so much for reading this shit. I love you.


End file.
